Permission to Look for Gold: My New Approach to Reading
Growing up, I always found it fascinating how my mom would read a book. She was always reading something or other (non-fiction) but her approach to reading was quite different than anyone else I observed. It was rare for her to read a book in linear form, from cover to cover. She often hopped forward, backward, up, and down, selecting the chapters that interested her most and making her way around to the others as she saw fit or abandoning it altogether when she felt she got what she needed out of it. It was not conventional, but few people got as much enjoyment out of a book as she did.
As for myself, I’ve always struggled with the temptation to quit things before they are finished. Not because I lose ambition but because something more intriguing comes along and I want to delve into that too. My compromise was to be reading 5 or more books at any given time, slowly making my way to the end of each. Because for me, powering through a book til the end was a mark of self-discipline. It meant I had done a good and noble thing. It was a sign of maturity and therefore became a rule of thumb — if you start a book, you must finish it. That was what civilized people do, after all, so I never considered any other approach.
Similarly, I mentioned journaling earlier this week. For years in my youth I missed out on the joy of journaling because I had some kind of notion that if you didn’t write in it every single day you had failed. Knowing my proclivity to become distracted from such routine tasks, I didn’t want to start something I absolutely knew I would fail at. It wasn’t until I was older that I shook off such ridiculous self-imposed expectations and began to enjoy journaling as I saw fit.
I now wonder if my mom wasn’t on to something. Why did I feel the need to follow so many self-imposed rules? It was as if the bookkeepers of the universe were looking down on me and would frown at any hanky panky if my reading habits were in bad form. When the truth is, not every book I own is worthy of reading cover to cover. And realistically, I am likely missing out on some enriching knowledge due to skipping books that I don’t desire to read entirely. I leave them alone, telling myself I will come back to them at a more opportune time, but I know it will more than likely collect dust because I don’t want to make the commitment or fail myself by leaving it partially read.
Oddly enough, this is one of the things I really enjoy about the Bible and books of poetry — it’s perfectly permissible to thumb through the pages looking for that golden nugget that suits my current need. But I rarely think to do the same with other non-fiction. And yet, I am only now beginning to see the value of viewing my books in a similar fashion. They don’t all have to be enjoyed in one setting, but rather one benefit of building a library is the ability to enjoy your books time and time again. Even fiction books I’ve already read can be revisited in passages.
I believe this way of approaching my books will help me enjoy them more. It will take a while to rewire my thinking, but there is a newfound freedom in giving myself permission to skip to that chapter that is relevant to me at the moment, knowing I can go back to the others at another time if I so choose. Or even * gasp * abandoning a book altogether for a better one. Marking up my books? We’ll work on that another day.
