Reflections: Fall From Grace
This is the first post for my new series, ‘Reflections’. I am going to begin with my newly released collaboration with Mixer Man, ‘Fall From Grace’. Below I have a link to the audio as well as the lyrics, so you can easily see what I am referencing as I explain my thoughts behind this song and what it meant for me.
A title like ‘Fall From Grace’ would automatically imply that someone made a very bad mistake…something almost beyond forgiveness. In this case, the story I was trying to tell was about someone who indeed had made an extremely bad decision that they personally dealt with, repented of and moved on from. They had already experienced the shame and fallout from this deed and just wanted to rebuild their life. In doing so they kept this incident from a loved one, who discovered the secret and was deeply affected.
At this point, the deed isn’t what this person is concerned about, as much as getting caught and regretting the lie. If they had been honest rather than waiting for it to be discovered, it may not have escalated to a loss of trust, but they didn’t want to risk all they had rebuilt by drudging up the past. Now their hope is that this loved one will sympathize with their motive in keeping it from them and extend forgiveness.
My inspiration for this story is basically that most of us have things in our past that we are ashamed of…things we hope will never be discovered for fear of losing the love and respect of those we care about. What many of us want more than anything is to find someone that will accept us totally, flaws and all, and love us despite our shortcomings. Sometimes when our secrets are discovered we find out that the result isn’t as bad as we imagined, but other times it does require hard work on our part to mend fences and make it up to those we’ve hurt.
And my last thought is regarding our own standard that we set for ourselves that can sometimes be impossible to live up to. Often we have trouble forgiving ourselves or are afraid of being exposed as less than perfect. This can also be our motivation for hiding the truth, even when it may benefit us in the long run to come clean so that we can truly move on. It’s a reminder that it’s better to be transparent and deal with things before they grow and fester into a bigger problem, like loss of trust, which is much harder to bounce back from.
Fall From Grace
Written by Jakki JeleneWell, I never dreamed I’d fly, though I never thought I’d fall
I was really quite content being somewhere in between
But when the devil under foot caused my face to smack the ground
I was shamed and quite upset but it’s not what I regret
No, it’s not what I regretI lied
I didn’t tell you all of the details of my fall from grace
But how could I admit my greatest sin
When I only just begin to live once again
To live once againI have fallen, I have fallen, I have fallen far from grace
My transgression, indiscretion all my sorrow can’t erase
So, I was hiding, I was hiding, I was hiding underground
Always waiting, anticipating, for you to find me undergroundWell, I know I am to blame for the secrets that I keep
I’m not angry for the fact that I’m sowing what I reap
But I have to face the truth, that it’s time I must confess
I just pray that now you know, you don’t love me any lessI lied
I didn’t tell you all of the details of my fall from grace
But how could I admit my greatest sin
When I only just begin to live once again
To live once again, oh I want to live againI have fallen, I have fallen, I have fallen far from grace
My transgression, indiscretion all my sorrow can’t erase
So, I was hiding, I was hiding, I was hiding underground
Always waiting, anticipating, for you to find me underground
For you to find me underground I am hiding underground
Photomanipulation by Slavica Dolašević
