Baring The Soul
We are living in the internet age, where sharing is second nature to most people. Often times people have an issue of over-sharing rather than not . I too enjoy interacting with family and friends on social media, but despite being a fairly tech savvy person, I never could get comfortable with letting it all hang out.
In fact, I find that the things that mean the most to me, I am most protective of. Relationships of course, but even when it comes to movies, music and books that touch me very personally. While I am quick to share a new movie I just saw or a song that struck me that day, things that personally define who I am as a person I tend to hold very close to my heart and am reluctant to share them. Reluctant to allow anyone to take aim or destroy the meaning they hold for me. Because to me, it’s equivalent to baring my soul, which makes me incredibly vulnerable.
Perhaps that has a lot to do with why I don’t enjoy self-promotion. Not only do I find it unattractive, but I hesitate to put my creations on trial. Those things which pour from my deepest being, to be so easily dismissed can be downright crushing. In fact, the critique doesn’t even bother me nearly as much as ambivalence. Feeling your work has no impact at all can be much worse.
If you don’t believe me, try imagining a scenario in which you open up to someone about how you feel about them. Really putting your heart on the line and speaking all those hidden thoughts and passions. Then imagine that person just shrugging their shoulders, saying “cool” and then walking away. Could you feel like a bigger fool?
Yet everyday people willingly make a fool of themselves and I find it astounding. In some ways I envy their fearlessness to do so, but at the same time pride and dignity will not allow me to do it. I just can’t. And perhaps that’s the lot in life for those who are stuck in between the way it used to be and the way things are. To anyone born after 1995, it’s just second nature to obsess over self. Which brings me to the ‘selfie’…but I’ll save that rant for another day.
